Raising children with an ex
Hi Betsy,
I just saw your interview on the Blu-ray of OUT OF CONTROL (the only reason I bought the movie sight unseen) and your sense of humor and down-to-earth personality was so refreshing! I loved how honest you were about your career and past projects and the stories that you told. I only had seen you before in PRIVATE SCHOOL, though for some odd reason I thought THE BETSY was a film about you (I know - it makes no sense - I know better now).
I thought it was very sweet how you refer to your ex-husband in very kind terms and are happy for the union because of your children together. I only know of Vince from his appearances with Eileen on
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" - and it got me thinking...
* What advice can you give to people raising children with an ex and creating a blended family when you both have new partners and potentially more children separately, especially in the public eye?
* Would you entertain being on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"? I think you'd make a TERRIFIC addition to the cast!
Hi! Thank you for the compliments! Now to answer your questions. First I think it’s important to have good will with your ex just as I think that is the most important quality to have in any relationship. That goes for family members, ex’s your kids, friends etc. If you have good will, anything is possible. It is also helpful to have a common goal. That means you want what is best for the entire family, that includes the extended family as well. I know this may seem easier said than done and of course at times it’s very difficult to hold our tongues when we want to get a good dig in about the ex or the ex’s new partner but if you really put effort into getting along with those individuals and treat them with kindness and respect no matter what they offer back, you will most likely be successful. Think of getting along with difficult people as a science project. What can you do daily that will move the relationship to a higher level? Can you say something to them that you appreciate about them? Can you forgive some of the judgment you have placed against them? There are also different degrees of getting along with your exes and their significant others. I have a friend who got married to a man who had a daughter. My friend was this girl’s step mother for a number of years and formed a solid friendship with the girl’s mother we’ll call her Ann. When my friend divorced her husband she continued to treat her step daughter as her own daughter with Ann’s blessing. This is an extreme beautiful example of getting along but my friend had that goal in mind and put a lot of work into making things wonderful between her step-daughter herself and Ann. It doesn’t make a difference if you are in the public eye or not getting along with ease in grace is universal. If you’re in the public eye as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin then you can set an example for the rest of the world for what is possible and make it a priority to co-parent from a loving place. Getting along with your kid’s other parent, their partner, and their kids will make everything better… I mean a lot better. Remember you were in love with them once and they gave you, your most special gift your kids! Focus on how grateful you are to them for that, stay focused on gratitude and you won’t have any problems getting along, I promise!
I have been considered to be one of the BH housewives and yes if I were offered the job I would probably do it. I believe in positive energy and that shining our light in any situation makes it that much brighter! Take good care and good luck!