Can't stop thinking about past loves.

First of all, I would like to say that I loved your body of work. To me you will always be Jordan from Private School. My question is, do you believe it is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time? I am completely happy with my current life, but I can't stop thinking about my past. If it is possible, I believe I have stayed in love with every woman that I had a relationship with. I'm 53, so why hasn't my mind moved on. Thanks, love Brian.

Hi Brian, thank you for your kind words. I think anything is possible if you believe it is. What does the term “being in love” mean? I think it’s having positive thoughts about that person which lead to feeling good when you think about them and being comfortable and happy when you’re around them. Basically it’s a choice that you may or may not be aware you’re making. Just like when you “decide” you’ve fallen out of love that is also a choice. You say you’re happy with your partner now that you’ve chosen but you can’t stop thinking about your past. It’s very normal to glorify the past and think “what if?” Many of us do that just to mess with ourselves and the moment. Kind of like the grass is always greener somewhere else. You may be saying to yourself this is great but was the past better, did I make the right choice? What if you decide to see it a different way? What if you chose to decide it’s a beautiful thing to have love and appreciation for all the women who have been in your life. I’m still friends with many of my ex’s and know that I wouldn’t have spent any time with them if they weren’t fabulous. Maybe you think you made splendid choices as well! Just because you didn’t end up with them doesn’t mean they weren’t amazing. Isn’t it better to still love them instead of having negative feelings about them as so many people do? If those thoughts about your past make you feel good why judge them? If you feel deceitful or bad when you’re thinking them, don’t focus on them just let them flow. They’re just thoughts they aren’t real. We don’t need to act on our thoughts, just observe them. Let the good ones flourish and the negative ones slide away. Take care and good luck!